iii. “Joy” – A short reflection

“Maxi! Iu how?”

“Mi alright. How are you?”

Mi not alright! My insides were saying, but my mouth replied, “Mi gud. Mi just need to run lo haus this taem.”

As I speed-walked past the many Solomon Islanders milling about the Central Market, mentally doubled over in pain, I could not help but to smile at everyone I made eye contact with, peppering the streets with the customary “aftanoon… aftanoon…” as I navigated my way ever closer to the liberation of Bishop’s house at the crest of the hill. The bus ride and the traffic were uneventful for everyone but me, so I needed to attend to that.

Flash backwards a few days, and you would find me lying prostrate on my bed, defeated by an illness that ransacked my system, causing me to purge and start anew. I recovered after a long day of discomfort, only to be humbled again two days later, right after Sunday mass. I was not my best self by any stretch, requiring the assistance of the stacka guardian angels blo mi, to even do simple things such as eat and take the medicine my mother sent with me (thanks be to God for my mother!).

Feeling a little like Lazarus on Monday morning, I went to school to prefect a few exams, as it was the start of the student’s exam week. But part of the way through the second exam, I realized I was not Lazarus, but rather Ryan, and that I was not fully well yet, so on the journey home after the exam had ended, I was in pain.

So, here in the story is where I get off the bus and run into Maxi on my way to sweet, sweet liberation. But here’s the thing. Despite the internal pain and suffering, I meant every degree of the warmth of my smile when I greeted people. Every “aftanoon” was backed by a genuine well-wishing that the recipient was having a good afternoon. Every interaction was fueled by joy.

This experience provided tangible evidence for the differentiation between happiness and joy in my life.

Happiness – a mood; a sensation that is fleeting, whimsical, and ever-changing.

Joy – a disposition; a state of being that permanently dictates the actions in your life.

Happiness – a loaf of bread, or a fish.

Joy – friendship with Jesus.

Happiness – for yourself.

Joy – for Jesus, Others, and Yourself.

Happiness is a stream that runs over its bed only when it rains, while joy is an eternal spring powerful enough to soak the surrounding lands.

I thought that I was faking joy when I was forcing the smile on my face despite the pain, but I found that the smile came easily, which betrayed that I was truly happy in spirit, despite the bodily pain. There was only one cause for my joy: I was where He needed me to be.